


All Awkward Silences Aside

by kirokumei



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Awkwardness, Crona Can't Deal With This Story, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hugs, Lots of Thinking, Male!Crona, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirokumei/pseuds/kirokumei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Soul nearly kills both himself and his meister in a freak accident, the two are left no choice but to evacuate the premises until damages are repaired. Maka doesn't like her options of a temporary residence -- the symmetry freak, the obnoxious egoist, her bum of a father, or an expensive hotel -- that is, until Crona mentions his new apartment provided by Miss Marie. Unbeknowst to them, the offer provided much more than they had anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Awkward Silences Aside

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to this super cringe fanfiction that i wrote in middle school and shamelessly keep on the internet :)

**|[** **POV: Maka Albarn** **]|**

I opened my eyes to see nothing but the ashy colors of mist and smoke, the adornments of my room hidden behind the curtain of soot that hung in the air. The scent was intoxicating, restricting my breathing with the abomination of the air, my lungs filling with bitter smoke. In a panic, I kicked the sheets off of my sweat-drenched body, swearing loudly beneath my shallow breaths. My feet made loud stomps in which sounded loudly against the fire alarm that I was deaf to in my dead rest, carrying me to Soul's room immediately. Clumsily, I reached my destination, halting myself by catching my weight on his door frame, grasping it so tightly my knuckles went white with pressure.

Upon entering his less-contaminated room, my optics frantically sweeped the area, looking for any sign of the weapon. Finding nothing, I scurried further, coughing out his name under my shirt in which I'd pulled over a portion of my face to protect my nose and mouth. He was nowhere to be seen. I toppled out of his room quickly, projecting his name at a louder volume, panic tainting my voice. Had he left me, or was he hurt? Damn it, Soul!

I ran into the kitchen, my eyes burning immensely due to the pollution. "Soul? Soul! Are you in here?!" I continueously yelped, rubbing my eyes considerably before continuing my frenetic search for my partner. I caught sight of a flame on the stove, one that hadn't been put out yet. It was then that a notion of the situation began to churn in my mind. He caused this...

"Maka! Maka, are you all right?!" A shout sounded through the house, making my worried panic cease instantly. Damn it, Soul. Ignoring his perterbed shouts, I threw a handful of baking soda on the flames, reducing them to nothing gradually. He had surely caused this grease fire in an attempt to cook. He's so stupid, that idiot!

Pivoting on my foot, I turned to face him, adopting the most annoyed face I could muster, still breathing under the fabric of my shirt. It was strange, though; through the smoke, I could discern a look of curiousity, no, shock, no, embarrassment, written across his fine features. I furrowed my eyebrows in apparent confusion.

"Great, baka, now I'm sure you're flat-chested," he mumbled, his face burning slightly. "Flashing is uncool."

My face felt like it was on fire as I pulled down my shirt so forcefully I thought it'd rip. I'm positive I was burning red; not only from embarrassment, but with fury. He called me flat-chested again! As if I wasn't already insecure about it already! He could've at least sported a nose bleed as he did with Blair...

"Shut up, asshole! You're such a jerk! Maka... chop!" I screamed loudly, clenching my eyes shut, shaking my head, and splitting his head with a cookbook that was lying conveniently on the counter beside me. I was shaking with anger. He not only set fire to our home, but he worried me sick, insulted me directly, and wasn't even pleased with what he saw!

"Damn it, Maka... That hurt! I can't help what I see! I'm sorry!"

"Please, Soul, it's not only that, you lit our place on fire! I could've died! I thought you were hurt!"

"I tried to put it out with water, but the grease splashed and it spread everywhere. I freaked out, and when I ran to wake you, you were gone. I tried, Maka, really."

A smile began to appear on my cheeks. He's so stupid, sometimes. "Soul, you can't extinguish a grease fire with water," I said, as if it were common sense. It was, to me, but he's clueless when it comes to the kitchen.

Soul grimaced, a look of annoyance and shame hidden under his 'cool' mask. "Whatever, let's just get this fixed, okay?"

**|[ POV: Crona Gorgon ]|**

Maka wasn't at school today, and neither was Soul. I found difficulty in handling the day without them, especially with Black*Star and Kid's immature bickering. The problem began with Black*Star dissecting his animal segment, in which was provided by Professor Stien, assymetrically, and refused to allow Kid to correct what had been done. It was daft, really, watching the two argue over such a small matter. A smile even touched my lips with the insults they'd bombarded each other with. But alas, that was one of the few that I held. I was wholly lonely without Maka.

She is the one that I am most comfortable around, to put it in right words. She was my first ever friend. After saving me from the depths of a hell I now know as my mind, she didn't leave me as I suspected she would. She never gave up on this unknowing, petrified child that is myself. She was my friend, and I am glad to say I am hers. And I completely, utterly missed her presence at school.

Sauntering from the DWMA and on the path to my small home in which I'd been given by Miss Marie, my feet sent echoing raps against the dry pavement, sound lost to the rustling of bodies parading through Death City. My eyes were cast astray from the path in which I was walking, focused on the many people conversing and leading normal lives as they did every day. Oh, how I longed to be normal. How I wished I could make friends with the wave of a hand, speak without a quiver in my voice, manage myself without relying on others' assistance, love as if my heart weren't mangled. But it was so; I was unable to be a typical being. I was simply dependent, pathetic, and useless. I knew this, and it sickened me when others forced the belief that I am not down my throat.

There was no point, because it was false.

I was ripped from my thoughts of depression when my clumsy footing was bollixed by a crack in the pavement, sending me tumbling to the earth instantly. I yelped in shock as my body crumpled to the ground, hands barely catching my weight as I disposed of the sudden fear that shook my body. Ragnarok was quick to stretch out of my back as I shakily, slowly lifted myself from the concrete, heat and tears tainting my cheeks.

"You idiot, why are you crying over a small scratch? You're such a baby sometimes! You-" Ragnarok's insults were interrupted by a certain attack I'd grown to fear immensely, yet love unconditionally.

"Maka... Chop!" Ragnarok winced severely, his gloved hands caressing his swollen scalp and cursing ungratefully beneath his breath.

"Damn it Crona, why didn't you tell me she was here? Maka, you're so mean!" He continued to grumble as the pig-tailed meister met my gaze with an exhausted smile, bringing the book she carried to her side nonchalantly.

"Hi, Crona. Sorry for not being with you at school today. How did you manage your first day without me?" Maka kept her gleeful smile upon her lips, though it was apparent the female was utterly exhausted from some matter. This worried me greatly, because she rarely looks exhausted like this. She's usually so prepared, determined. I didn't know how to deal with such a confusing look.

"O-oh, It's okay, Maka, really. I just stayed with Mr. Corner for a while and watched Black*Star and Kid fight," I replied sheepishly, my hand meeting my elbow awkwardly, Ragnarok falling silent as to listen. Maka began to laugh, for what I was unsure, but as her laughter rang through the sky, a smile tugged at the fleshes of my mouth.

"I bet that was amusing. Let me guess, something about asymmetry?" I nodded in response, the smile still adorning my face. "I'm glad your day was fun. Mine was..." She gradually trailed off, her irises shifting to leave mine, the exhaustion I suspected becoming obvious, making my heartbeat quicken with anticipation.

"What's the matter, Maka? Did something happen?" She was quick to regain her smile, attempting to hide something I'd suspected from the start. I wouldn't smile back, not until she told me what was the matter. I couldn't handle her sadness.

"Well, Soul tried to prepare breakfast for the two of us, and his sad attempt ended with a grease fire. Our whole house is a wreck, and we're to be evacuated for Kami knows how long as they repair the damage. I've been trying to find a place to rent, away from that baka, because he's a jerk I'd rather not speak to anytime soon. He not only ruined our home, but insulted me directly, calling me flat-chested again! I can't deal with him!" Maka ranted, her arms comical as she expressed her emotions. I listened attentively, concern overriding my emotions.

"I-I'm so sorry, Maka! I don't know how to deal with your problems.." I trailed off, my mind searching frantically for a statement of comfort. She'd always been there for me, so I was determined to be the same for her. I owed her everything, this was the least I could do. Spitting the first thing that my noggin could muster, I uttered, "You're not flat-chested."

My face felt as if it had been struck by a lightning bolt, set on fire and stupefied. It appeared as if hers had too, the smile she held quivering ever slightly. She parted her lips as if to speak, but swiftly closed them, looking downward with embarrassment, making the awkwardness enhance exceedingly. Ragnarok's bellowing laugh broke the discomfort abruptly, his fist rubbing the top of my scalp vigorously as to play as a noogie. "Smooth move Crona, you'll definitely win her over like that!" he hollered, now beating my head with his fists as he snickered unduly.

"Stop, Ragnarok! I don't like it when you hit my head! It hurts! Stop!" I whined, my hands flailing off rhythm with his, trying to ward them away. Maka was quick to threaten him again, which, thankfully, caused the weapon to cease and dissipate back into my body. The blush still flushing my cheeks, I mumbled my graditude, opticals cast to the ground shamefully.

"Thank you, Crona; no one has ever complimented me like that before," she whispered, her cheeks rosy, lips parted perfectly, eyes bright with her smile.

"It's no problem," I murmured in response, afraid to look at the meister again.

"Anyway, I should probably go, I haven't found a rental house yet, and I refuse to stay with Soul or my lousy father. I guess I could stay with Black*Star and Tsubaki, but..." she groaned, most likely thinking about Black*Star's vexatious personality.

"U-um, Maka, you could stay with me... I-I've never had a roomate before, except for Ragnarok, but.." Glancing up, I prayed silently that she wouldn't look at me as if disgusted with my existance. But, to my surprise, she looked relieved with my immediate offer.

"You'd really let me stay with you? I promise I won't be a burden. I'll pay you for my stay, and I'll help provide for meals and laundry, and..." My smile was geniuine as I listened to her continue to spout responsibilities, utter relief washing over me as she didn't protest in the slightest. I so much feared her rejection.

"It's okay, Maka. Follow me," I spoke, inturrupting her speech, more coolly than I'd expected. Obediantly, she followed as I began cantering down the road, advancing before her until we reached my small, rather dismal home.

**|[POV: Maka]|**

I followed Crona to his place at a respectable distance, ascending the cement stairs to his door in which he clumsily unlocked, meeting him at his back. He ushered me through the door, quick to shut it behind us, allowing me to observe his residence. It was small, very small, with few windows and lights. It contained a single bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchenette, and a confined parlor, all in which had little color or decoration. I wasn't surprised, though ‒ Crona didn't seem the type to care or know much of ornamentation or color. No matter; I would be there to garnish the place.

As my eyes completed their sweep of the cramped but comfortable place Crona called home, I casually clasped my slender fingers behind my back, sliding my feet out of their worn shoes and stepping further into the house. Before I could progress in my exploration though, my eyes landed on him, immediately noticing how out of place he seemed standing in his own parlor. His obsidian irises were locked on the chestnut hued planks that made up the floor, fingers clutching the fabric of his robe awkwardly, his teeth barely raking his lower lip. Why was he so nervous? Could it be because of me, being in his usually, no, always unvisited home and afraid of my judgment?

Releasing an almost sympathetic and humoured sigh, my shoulders rising and falling with the gesture, I allowed my feet to carry me towards him, my strong yet minuscule hand reaching out towards him and landing gently on the side of his shoulder. Or, that's what I expected to happen. It seemed my comforting gesture warped into an unintentional attack, one that made him stumble a bit due to the force I accidentally laced into my touch.

"Oops, I'm sorry, Crona! I didn't mean that, I mean, I was going to ask if you'd like to show me around?" I asked, though I was greatly disappointed that I had made little sense as to why I'd hit him. It really was an accident, though. I knew there wasn't much for him to show me, but I only wanted to reassure him somehow, or at least distract him from whatever thought he was being trapped in. I only hoped I hadn't made it worse.

Crona recovered quickly, caressing the length of his arm where I'd hit him gently with his dainty hand. "I-It's okay, Maka. I understand," he began, surprising me a bit with his understanding. That sounded rude, to assume he wouldn't know how to handle my mistake or truly get what I had meant by it. Perhaps he didn't. But I couldn't dispel the slight ounce of shock that ran through me. "Follow me, I can show you everywhere. Miss Marie says my house is nice, that it suits me well, and that's why she helped me pick it out. She said that its small size and little decor would be easy for me to handle until I was ready to move to something bigger." Crona stopped after leading me to the end of the parlor. "I'm actually really excited, Maka. Soon I'll get to be normal, like you."

I too ceased in my steps, my irises glinting again with sympathy. It was true that he had made a phenomenal amount of progress in socializing as well as handling real-world situations. It was true he had made some friends and expanded his horizons. It was true that he was still far off from being able to be independent and rely on himself, too; he was still so clueless about the world. But he was not abnormal. He was never any different from myself or his and my friends. He was merely raised differently, from a different perspective. The thought that he believed he was inferior to myself made me internally cringe; he was so far from the truth.

I touched his cheek soothingly, my green optics locking with his, a new emotion gracing them. It was happiness. He had always thought low of himself, always looked down on himself. But he was finally beginning to realize that he was normal, or that he could be. He was beginning to consider himself what he believed to be right, and that made me so, so ecstatic.

"Crona, you've been there for a long time. You're my best friend; I wouldn't give that title out to any weirdo," I stated rather jokingly, before regaining my serious tone and expression. "Don't consider yourself different because of your personality. You are absolutely amazing to me, better than what majority of the people you consider socially just are. Please believe me," I said quietly, voice pleading.

Crona's expression was unreadable; it was almost a jumble of disbelief, confusion, and what seemed to me to be happiness. He had the smallest sliver of a smile dancing on his lips, soon perking the edges of mine similarly until we were awkwardly standing there, grinning like we were mad. But even so, it was a comfortable moment.

"You say that, but I still haven't figured out how to deal with your kindness, Maka," he said, joyful look dissolving into a thoughtful one with the words. I only smiled wider, softly patting his cheek before nonchalantly crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, there's a bunch of things you could do. For example, you could say, 'Thank you, Maka, for being the bestest person I could ever know!' or perhaps compliment me in return. Or, you could use a gesture, such as a hug or a smile. Little things like that..."

All awkward silences aside, Crona and I talked for the remainder of the night. He showed me his small home, offering snacks and such a bit too often as he was unsure of how to act with visitors. Ragnarok joined us after we had settled ourselves in the kitchenette, raiding the cabinets and teasing his meister frequently. The strangest yet best thing about that day though, was that I saw Crona smile more than I ever had before.

\+ + +

I awoke to the muffled cries of a certain boy across the room, and the not-so-quiet laughter from a certain weapon, too. Rubbing my eyes as to rid the sleep from them, I shifted from my lying position, sitting myself upright and looking curiously around the area. We were in his bedroom, the only bedroom, that contained only a single twin size bed and Crona and Ragnarok standing right in front of me.

_Okay, think Maka. Do you remember coming in here last night? Was Crona with you? How late was it? Yes, that's it! Crona noticed how sleepy I looked due to my lack of conversation and exhausted face. He offered to me his bedroom until I could move back into my own place, to which I repeatedly denied. But he kept persisting, so I gave in, suggesting that we could either share the room or take turns. He agreed to take turns, so why was he in here now?_

I leaned forward, crossing my legs and tucking the loose blonde strands of hair that had fallen from my pig tails during my rest behind my ear. As my green irises glinted with puzzlement toward the two who had only now noticed my wake, I yawned, stretching my arms above my head.

"Crona? What time is it?" I asked, watching the male fidget as Ragnarok remained silent.

He looked up, and with little confidence answered, "Eleven twenty-eight in the morning," and cast his gaze awkwardly toward the floor.

"Ugh, I slept in too late. How long have you, uh, been standing there?" I continued, a small, amused grin creeping onto my lips as I swung my feet over the side of the bed and stood myself up promptly. Glancing over, I saw that Ragnarok was chuckling as Crona flushed pink, stuttering to find the right words. I only laughed, finding it cute how awkward he still was, and stretched my arms again over my head as I padded out of the room. "It's fine, don't worry about it!" I called, deciding to let him breathe again.

My steps led me to the bathroom, where I silently though complacently washed myself in a matter of minutes and fixed my hair so that it hung loose over my shoulders. Then, finding myself in the small kitchenette, I noticed a few boxes of oat cereal as well as a half eaten loaf of bread and an empty plate upon his counter. I plopped myself in a cushioned seat that was of many aligning a small, oblong bar, the seat that resided directly next to the one in which the empty tableware was placed before. It wasn't long before I heard a few hushed voices, growing louder and louder as two boys continued to near.

"Are you hungry, Maka? We don't have much, but I could do my best to handle breakfa- no, lunch for you." The young meister sat down beside me, the usual look of nervousness gracing his innocent features. He seemed more at ease in comparison to earlier, which made me glad, but I somewhat wished he wouldn't be so constantly afraid to be himself around me... I scowled at the thought.

_Wait, stupid Maka. This is who he is. You know that. But I can't help but think there's something else to him, if only he wouldn't cower away from the world. I know it's not his fault. But over the course of these years of us being friends, I've never been able to break this barrier that he's put up. I'm frustrated. I have been for a while now, though I try not to acknowledge it. I fear if I do, I'll hurt Crona by expressing my concern regarding him. Just the fact that I, even his closest friend, cannot make him completely drop this wall that he's created, saddens me greatly. I remember we erased the circle in the sand so that he'd have the opportunity to step out and actually face the world. But I fear he's drawn another, one I can't fit in. One I can't erase. And I don't know what to do. I don't want my best friend to fear me or anything I have to say. I don't want him to feel like I'm just another predator in the world that could betray him at any moment, without a thought. Haha... I'm exaggerating again. But I know he doesn't completely trust me. He grew up in an atmosphere that was twisted and evil, which again is not his fault. But I don't want to lose him to his doubt. Or rather, I want to completely have him, and be the one he wholeheartedly trusts._

"M-Maka..."

I blinked, looking up at Crona swiftly, reading his expression. His black optics were widened in what appeared to be surprise, his lips cocked in a thoughtful manner. God, how can someone have such a variety of emotions engraved in their features? I could only make out the confusion, anxiety, fear, and concern. Why was he so pessimistic at a time like this?

"Why are you crying, Maka? I can't..."

**[| POV: Crona |]**

"...deal with your tears. They make me sad."

I frowned, my heart beating one thousand miles a second. I couldn't believe what I was about to attempt. Intimate contact, decided and initiated by myself. Slowly and shakily, I allowed my ethereal hand to find a fallen tear that had yet to meet her jaw, trailing my fingers carefully along the side of her soft, damp face, and struggling to keep my breathing steady. I've never tried anything like this before, friendly gestures and such. Others always initiated such a thing, or told me what to do. But Maka herself suggested it, explaining that my friends might get the wrong idea might I be so distant. I don't want to lose my friends. I don't want to lose Maka to my daft fear.

She breathed in a sharp breath, bringing her hands to her face immediately, swiping my hand away in the process. "I'm not crying! When did I start crying? Ugh.." Though her face was dry, she didn't remove her hands. Her face was red; I could tell from the hues displayed between her fingers. Why was she so... embarrassed? That was my job.

Wait. Did I do something wrong? Was that inappropriate? Did I hurt her feelings?

"I think you're supposed to hug me now, right? Wasn't that the next step in comforting someone?" Maka's voice was almost inaudible as she spoke beneath her palms, shoulders rising and falling in an unsteady matter. Hug her? She'd hugged me before, back when we first met, and I hugged her back. I never forgot that moment. I was incredibly uncomfortable, frightened, and confused, although the happiness I felt outweighed such emotions. She was my first ever friend, and thus, the only person I trust. I simply cannot find a way to trust anyone else; Soul, Kid, Black*Star, even Miss Marie; the way I do Maka. She has always been there for me, understanding the pain I feel when others couldn't. And even when she couldn't, she never even considered leaving me to deal with the monster that is myself.

"It is.." I stood, closing the gap between myself and the other meister promptly, looking down at her flat blonde hair and hesitant face. I'd always thought that she had nice hair, but her face was absolutely perfect to me: reliable, familiar, comforting, beautiful. I leaned over, throwing my arms around her shoulders ineptly before my nerves and awkwardness could stand in my way. She was warm, and soft.

When do I release her? Will she tell me? Has it been too long? Maka, I can't handle this pressure you're putting on me.

I began to hesitate, slowly loosening my already limp embrace on the other seeing as she didn't return the gesture. But before I could release her from my arms, she abruptly stood from her seat, practically running into me if that were possible in such a minuscule proximity. I felt her hands clutch the back of my pajama shirt, her breaths warming the side of my neck, her chest rising and falling against mine. The only thing I could do was calm myself down in response to her sudden act of affection, and keep my arms around her.

"Crona, how do you see me? Do you trust me, or am I just another thing to be cautious of? I don't want you to see me like that. I've been with you for so long, being the best friend that I was capable of, all to earn your utmost trust. I don't want to be like everyone else to you; someone you need to be careful and quiet around so that they can't see your weaknesses. Isn't that what you think? I wouldn't know, because you won't let me in! What do I have to do so that you won't be afraid? I want to know all of your flaws, all of your weaknesses, everything. Isn't that what best friends are for? I am your best friend, right?"

My eyes wavered with approaching tears as Maka cried her muffled confession into my chest. What was she thinking? Doesn't she know she's the most important person in my life? Suddenly, all I could think about was her. She was there since the beginning. I was trying to kill her, but she saw through me, the pain and confusion that tainted my soul, and took pity on me. She reached out, unknowing of whether I was within the bounds of saving. I thought I was hopeless. I believed that someone like me, a misfit, confused, terrified demon like me was beyond anyone's help. But she reached into the depths of madness and purified me. Through my struggle to shake off these chains of guilt and adaptation, she aided me, guiding me through what was normal life to most so that I could fit in. Without her, I'd be nothing. But with her, I've come to actually find something to love about myself- that I was able to obtain her as a friend. The fact that she was oblivious to my respect for her sickened me.

Was I that stupid, that I made her worry because I was so distant? I'd like to say it wasn't my fault, but it was. The kind people that I'd met, they'd shown me better. How could I have not picked up on that before? It'd been years, and I still hadn't been able to express myself? Why was I so afraid to say what I thought to Maka? I was such a failure. I knew I had to do it then, despite my fear and hesitation. What I was about to do was long overdue.

"H-How could you say such a thing?! Don't you realize that you are the most important person to me? Without you, God knows where I'd be! You've saved me from myself, my worst enemy. I'm so sorry, Maka, for being so distant and confusing. I-I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I am just afraid to say what's on my mind because you might think, well, I might lose you. I don't want to lose you. You know my weaknesses. You know more than you think. I'm afraid of everything I can't handle, which is about everything. I'm just an ignorant baka with nothing to make of my life. But you know, I actually have something to live for now. Do you know what that is?"

Maka tensed against me, her heartbeat accelerating greatly in comparison to a few moments ago. "Tell me, Crona," she mumbled after a moment, quiet and careful with the words.

I squeezed her body tightly to my own slim one, my heart feeling as if it were about to implode and my already flushed cheeks warming immeasurably. My mouth felt dry after saying so much so confidently at once, and to top that off, I was at a loss for words as I realized what I'd have to say. Breathing in sharply, I shifted my head so my face would brush her neck, my lips gracing her ear.

"It's you, Maka. I've always loved you."

**Author's Note:**

> any feedback is appreciated


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